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3311月17日 zt: WORLD IDEOLOGIES EXPLAINED BY REFERENCE TO COWS从来没转过帖子，这个太搞笑了要分享下。。。
FEUDALISM
You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk. SOCIALISM You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you a glass of milk. FASCISM You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk. PURE COMMUNISM You share two cows with your neighbors. You and your neighbors bicker about who has the most "ability" and who has the most "need". Meanwhile, no one works, no one gets any milk, and the cows drop dead of starvation. RUSSIAN COMMUNISM You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the black market. PERESTROIKA You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the Mafia takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the "free" market. CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you. DICTATORSHIP You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you. PURE DEMOCRACY You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk. REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk. BUREAUCRACY You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows. CAPITALISM You don't have any cows. The bank will not lend you money to buy cows, because you don't have any cows to put up as collateral. PURE ANARCHY You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you. ANARCHO-CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. SURREALISM You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons. OLYMPICS-ISM You have two cows, one American, one Chinese. With the help of trilling violins and state of the art montage photography, John Tesh narrates the moving tale of how the American cow overcame the agony of growing up in a suburb with (gasp) divorced parents, then mentions in passing that the Chinese cow was beaten every day by a tyrannical farmer and watched its parents butchered before its eyes. The American cow wins the competition, severely spraining an udder in a gritty performance, and gets a multi-million dollar contract to endorse Wheaties. The Chinese cow is led out of the arena and shot by Chinese government officials, though no one ever hears about it. McDonald's buys the meat and serves it hot and fast at its Beijing restaurant. AMERICAN CORPORATE CAPITALISM Both cows are bloated with toxic steroids. They are set out to graze on privatized public parks, release massive amounts of flatulence that destroys the ozone layer, die from excess ultraviolet light, and are processed into meat-like products that look great as a result of clever and unprincipled marketing strategies. When you mortgage your artificially devalued farm at high interest rates in order to buy meat, you consume the poisoned material and develop terminal illnesses because there is no health care plan to treat you. The corporate management uses your purchase price to acquire THEIR meat from cows raised "naturally" on tree-free rain forest land outside of the country where labor and resources are cheap. BRITISH REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY Both cows are mad 11月7日 11月的节目单oxford circus的圣诞灯火已经在周三就亮起来了，但是距离圣诞假还有那么多天。11月里面给自己自娱自乐下。
昨天去看了三个短片的现代芭蕾Agon, Sphinx和Limen。没有特别留意现代芭蕾，只是因为全球首映，特价的票便宜得惊人才去。没有想到竟然很好。三个40来分钟的独立表演，完全不同的风格。Agon把芭蕾跳得希腊田径；Sphinx自然是埃及的美艳；最后一部抽象现代的Limen，灯光效果跟服装设计都有意想不到的别致。开始的时候是荧光蓝的屏上出现空中坠落，并且不断变化着的数字字母，舞者们在台上的不同位置分布着，但光线效果把一些人埋起来，一些人凸现出来。舞蹈也跟传统芭蕾相去甚远。外行看个热闹，几乎觉得这些现代人被大量的信息埋起来，忙碌的处理着铺天盖地的数据符号。再下一组，灯光是一个彩色的四方型在台子正中，舞者都穿两个对比强烈的彩色，有得地方几乎是独立的模特走台，虽然也有配合，但是是逻辑上的，不是情感上的（大概因为不叙事，也不同于传统芭蕾）。再下去，有一对反差很大的舞者上台，黑人着黑，白人着白。最后是所有舞者着近乎肤色的服装，回归本真，也溶入团体。音乐好多minor key，节奏也基本跟随Brownian Motion, 不寻求和谐。outlier的出现或许才是现代世界的常态。。。啊哈，现代艺术。。。
接下去要看的是《蒂凡尼的早餐》（Anna Friel版）。朋友都讲看过Audrey就不用看这版了，因为那部是不可能超越的经典。因为我没看过Audrey版，对Anna的信心多点，再加上真的也不比电影票贵什么，就决定去看。过去4年也没看过stage drama，这部剧情多少知道点，不至于不懂。很期待。
然后是到处贴着抢眼广告的《睡美人》，场景布置服装化妆就够有卖点的古典的芭蕾。只希望女主角不要真正睡掉一大半的时间才好。又订了中午场，如果我也睡过去那就亏大了。。。
一个地方，好像越是不会长久待下去，越是能欣赏她的好。努力发掘伦敦的可爱之处。写写就到11月7号啦，祝云淡清秋生日快乐！！！ 9月19日 My Kind of TownChicago is undisputably the museum of achitectures. There are other cosmopolitans with numerous great skyscrapers, but those in Chicago are so grand and yet relentlessly ornamented that they appear to possess some kind of overwhelming beauty...there is a definite wow factor in the dark and serious-looking Willis Tower, the elegant and (still) stylish Wrigley building, the witty and mordern smurfit-stone building, the Prudential Plazas etc...
Walking down the magnificent mile, a tourist would be singing "cannot take my eyes of you" in his heart. Every each single building has some uniqueness to discover. The city and its achitects have kepted on adding new touches on this ever-finished landscape along the years.
If they survived until now, the actual users of the water tower must be surprised to see how the buildings growing around it have dwarfed the tower. The Millennium Park has a good blend of nature and contemporary arts. The bean (officially Cloud Gate) sitting in the centre of the park artistically engages the surrounding magnificent architectures into a bent miniature - what a convenient steal! or more appropriately an efficient copy?
A city without water is without a soul. If Lake Michigan is a shiny big pearl gifted by God to Chicago, then the Chicago river must be the running blood in the veins of the dynamic city... On a sunny day, a boat trip along the river offers a floating view inside the museum of achitectures. Or if you have already made the effort to walk down the magnificent mile, a boat tour on the Michigan gives a sketch of the beautiful skyline from another prospect.
The Art Insititute has abundant pieces to explore for a whole day. There are great works of Monet, Van Gogh, Pierre-Auguste Renoir etc etc, if you are into impressionism. I was quite pleased to first see a reproduction of Beata Beatrix in a panel, with the original much easier to access in Tate Britain. A live proof that great arts do get around the globe...
The expanded suburb of the city also has some ordinary charms to offer. The only shame is it is so expanded that people actually do not take much time out of their houses or cars. The view of a young family of deers is certainly not quite a surprise if you do take notice of the warning signs for "deers crossing" on the side of the roads.
All should start and end in Frank Sinatra's deep voice, yes "one town that wont let you down"... 8月29日 My pre-Raphaelite fever & Saturday Passtime最近天天在地铁站里看到一幅吸引眼球的画展广告<Circe offering the cup to Odysseus> 于是知道了John W. Waterhouse, 于是知道了pre-Raphelite arts的其他人物，又于是看了BBC 2的costume drama <Desperate Romantics>.
震撼人心艺术，艺术家，和他们的故事。Dente Rossetti 的狂放不羁，William Hunt的严谨精确, 最喜欢还是John Millais和以Lizzie Siddle为模特的Ophelia, 是绝望凄美的极致，正如模特本身的命运。BBC一群年轻演员也相当出彩。虽然nudity仿佛有点过了.相信Aidan Turner, Amy Manson, Jennie Jacques 等等都会有更多的精彩剧作推出。
影集里面贴几幅最喜欢的分享。
P.S: today's sketch.自娱自乐.
 8月2日 公车上的随想好不容易等到周五下午6点，匆匆买瓶软饮料, 搭１０路公交赶去Royal Albert Hall。有阳光，有BBC Prom, 又有周末可以期待的伦敦无限美好。
坐在红色双层公交车的上层，看熟悉又陌生的街道店铺晃过去，John Lewis, House of Fraser...这个时间的这个地点，总归堵塞，三步一停. 车到Selfridges, 突然看到四个全身黑纱的中东女子,很引人注目。没有蒙面纱的她们在阳光下是相当美艳，深的眼窝，浓密的眉睫，小麦色的面庞。突然让我联想到小时候读三毛的<哭泣的骆驼>。恍如隔世的场景，居然不是出现在沙漠，而是在伦敦最繁华的街区。
即便在这个城市，看到中东妇女不蒙面纱也不常有。这四个年纪不等的美丽神秘女子，提着Selfriges耀眼的黄色购物袋鱼贯的上了黑色出租车。惊鸿一瞥到她们的我，禁不住无聊的猜测她们是否是某油田主人的几个妻。又联想到女权或者更准确的说人权的一些问题。
社会分工不同，人生选择不同，都无可非议。但是如果是社会系统性的让女性失去选择独立自由的权利，就不可以原谅。最近认识一个漂亮的约旦女孩子。谈到她父亲的４个妻，２０多个子女，也仿佛寻常事的说起。习惯于那样一种常态的女子，让我的心很凉。她来伦敦求学，是有自己想法的中东女孩子，但行动着装待人接物上跟西方还是相当的格格不入。跟男生打交道就更勉强，偏偏这个世界异性占去一半，于是苦恼, 时常碰壁。不可以想象来自一个女性基本上作为男性附属而存在的国度，她的人生观和两性观会在潜意识上受如何的影响。更可悲的是，如果她随意愿，开化后就不可能再被＂自己人＂所接受, 又该是多么难堪的境地。对于一个８０后的中国独生女，实在难以想象。
小时候，听小香玉唱＂花木兰＂，隐约明白古时候＂女子不如男＂才是世人认同的常态。但似乎是一种遥远的常态，与我无关。贤妻良母，职场OL，各取所好。后来知道，在我出生前，我国的女权运动不仅仅是彻底，还过头了一段时间, 把平等跟等同弄混了。培养了一批女卡车司机，女飞行员等等, 要在各行各业证明男女的"平等"。好在后来没有过枉纠正的一直将革命进行到底。毕竟有选择权的平等，和数目上的等同并不是一个概念。
说回中东女性，以前也遇到过一个在BBC做记者的以色列女生。因为家人早早迁去美国，可以无后顾之忧的去开化，比一般人都还开化得彻底些。仿佛要证明，中东女性也是可以相当独立自主有想法的。但是她这类人物现在似乎也没有星星之火的气候。 去马耳他玩的时候，看宾馆电视，大概因为语言接近的关系，当地收好几个中东台。有一个是２４小时的电影频道，也播很多好莱坞，不过没有任何人权自由宗教一类题材的片子。住了几天，看的片子不外乎吸血鬼侦破喜剧等等非严肃话题。似乎设计严肃题材就触动到他们敏感的神经。大概节目的受众群也多是N户人家，每户人家的４个妻。
5月19日 被英政府二次警告二月拿到T１签证的时候收到通知说要去警察局注册. 不记得有说什么限期，于是一拖再拖。警局开门周一到周五，９点到４点，相当有理由拖着不去办。又是草木皆兵的时期，跟老板请示去注册T１跟递辞呈没差别－－－现在回头想想牙医大概是好借口，还可以去用掉牙齿保险的＂免费＂洁牙服务，一箭双雕。。。
３月出境入境，一个印巴籍的officer清描淡写的说，你要去注册，我说好。他说:"I will have to put down a warning here".他就小学生做作业,在入境图章下面写了个W，字母周围画个很圆的圈，然后写police reg, 就放我过关. 一晃６周过去，月初突然决定出行，到临行前最后一天才想起注册这码子事，最后午饭时间没能脱身!
今天回程. 昨天晚上喝了未过滤咖啡，３点过后才睡着，本来起迟，又遇上大堵车，差点误机。最后要脱运的行李只好随身带着。给我登机牌的美女板着脸说，I urge you to run to the boarding gate as half of the passengers are already on board...早饭自然是没来得及。飞机杂志上可以选的午餐食品，咸的只有三明治跟日清杯面,胃跟嘴能达成共识的就只剩下杯面。杂志上清楚的写着"products may vary". 大概跟好多使用频率不高的免责申明差不多，不一定就那么巧。要了日清，给我一个没见过的韩国面，最不喜欢的味道。日清断货大概不会，廉价航空的cost cut果然厉害. 抗议一定是无效的，人家都说了"may vary"的么，再说美女相当麻利的已经泡好了。最后胃战胜了嘴，吃了下去，翻江倒海X%$#@*&...终于挨到Luton. 发现又被平流层的阳光普照骗了，英格兰还是英格兰. 同机的仿佛没有其他非欧盟公民，又不用提行李，连排队打腹稿的时间都没有，我就脸色苍白碰头垢面的站在了一个相当严肃的入境officer的面前.对话(或者独白更合适些),大至如下：
"YOU got a warning back in March, didn't go???" "Sorry I didn't find time, but I will go today or tomorrow." (不打狂语。此话是相当有诚意，如果一切顺利，我３点到市中心，４点前能去。如果不行，明天不用上班也会去。) "Why should I believe you that you are going today or tomorrow given that you haven't gone yet since March??!!" "......I am taking a day off tomorrow. And I will go."（其实我是想说，３月入境的时候我说"OK，I will."并没有说什么时候能去. 完全没有欺骗性质)."You are required by the BRITISH government to go then you should MAKE time for it. What if you are required by the Chinese government?"（这句的逻辑我没明白。后来回味大概是说我藐视英国政府.) 放行总归还是要放行的，总不能就为这个遣送我回国（正好呢，老想回去的）。最后加了句"if you don't go this time, you will be REFUSED~ to be registered."觉得不够，写了W，周围画了个不太圆的圈，还加了句"still no police registration".足够给我动力当天就去。坐车到Baker Str.找最快路线到Borough.看看钟３：４７.就我一个人，不用排队。警卫安全检查非常和蔼的搭讪，你时间掐得好啊。一个黑人女警官面带微笑的背完类似于Warning的套词,盖章放行。3:49 从局子里面出来，雨过天晴蓝天白云。
只是本来决定今天一心只读圣贤书的，给英国政府搅黄了。 后记:
1. 神经线条大腿粗的我一般不多想，偏偏昨天看了部电影叫做<Snow Falling on Cedars> ,有点上纲上线。
2. 今天之前觉得<When Genius Failed>中关于＂poker face"的描述抽象，在机场的入境官生动演义了一盘.＜免责声明：no personal offence>
3.从今天起，更要好好做人，认真做事，不要跟政府做对。政府的教导要听从，命令要服从。＜注:政府包括英政府，中国政府以及其他各国执政政府＞
4.从今天起，也更加有出游的动力，快快签满这本护照，换本新的，埋葬不良记录吧，阿门。 末了还是学习，GIPS（考生"阿弥驼佛"的替代词）... an old band, but a recent fever for me...drug plagued once but spiritually inspring
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